I’d Like To Introduce Myself
Back then, my blog wasn’t so much about Crime, Action, or my Vigilante Novellas as it was about my outlook on the world.
So this is one of my first! Thought it was kinda funny.
I’ve always wanted to write stories about Crime, Action, in the form of Vigilante Novellas. And now that I’m working on a series, I’m having a buttload of fun.
But today I wanted to take the time to fully introduce myself to anyone out there who may be reading my blog for the first time.
So lets begin:
Here’s a little bit about me:
I will always say the wrong thing, to the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong place.
I once hugged Oprah before security got to me.
(I was actually a guest on the show at the time. So I got that going for me.)
One time I was headlining a comedy club in Louisville, Kentucky, and I was pulled over while driving to the club. I was arrested for having an expired driver’s license.
I had to call my Mama, who flew up from Atlanta to bail me out and drive me home.
When Mama arrived, she told me her license was expired too. And we laughed and we laughed…
My 20 year high school reunion committee sent out questionnaires to gather information about what we’d all done after high school.
I thought they were just for informational purposes.
When I filled out the form, I left everything blank except for the last question.
“Is there anything else you want your classmates to know?”
As a joke, I wrote, “I have some kind of rash.”
Turned out all the forms were all bound together into nice books which were distributed to all the attendees.
So right there between, a classmate’s bio that bragged “after medical school, I did pro bono work in the Congo” and another classmate’s bio that bragged, “being a college professor has given me more satisfaction that I could have ever dreamed of,” is my eczema.
During my first half-time show as a high school drum major, I pooped myself.
My cat’s names are Max, Cubby, Dolores, CowBelle, Elisa.
While in Little League, I was once hit so hard in the nuts my father thought my cup had exploded and my pelvis bone had been shattered. He was right about one of the two.
At the age of 27, I got on the wrong flight and ended up in Cincinnati instead of Atlanta.
My current age is 53 (now 54) and I’ve driven to the store without wearing pants.
(I didn’t go in. But that’s something I have to look forward to.)
Okay, now some pictures of me:
I photoshopped this to reflect my loss of hair.
Tomorrow on Crime Ring:
There’s no way to escape….. Wait, is that a squirrel?
Please follow me on all the social media thingys below:
I think on all of them I’m @draysbooks
I have a Tumbler, but it’s filled with dirty stuff.
About D. Ray Thomas